I used to be frighteningly under confident in social situations.
And although people who know me now would never believe I used
to doubt myself so much I literally had to learn confidence until
it became a natural part of me. I can tell you relaxed optimistic
confidence is just, well so much more fun.
Here I'll tell you about the things that made the most difference
to my confidence levels...
Some people have naturally high levels of confidence but everybody
can learn to be more confident
Firstly, it's important to get a clear idea of what self confidence
really means, otherwise you won't know when you've got it! So,
self confidence means:
1) Being calm. For every situation in life you need to
run on the appropriate level of emotion. Too much emotional 'leakage'
into a experience can spoil the experience. You make great strides
towards confidence when you begin to relax in a greater range
of situations.
2) Being cool. The second part of self confidence is
about being able to relax with uncertainty. To be 'cool' in a
situation really means relaxing with not knowing how things will
pan out. If you truly tolerate uncertainty, you can do pretty
much anything.
3) Not being too concerned with what others think of you. You
know when you imagine what some place is going to be like before
you go there but when you get there it is totally different to
your imagination? That's how reliable your imagination is! Stop
trusting your imagination so much. I've long since stopped bothering
to imagine what others think of me because so often I've turned
out to be wrong.
4) Being specific - where do you want confidence? 'Confidence'
is meaningless until you tie it to something specific. You are
already confident that you can read these words or can switch
a light on and off. So you don't need more confidence everywhere.
To get what you want in life you have to establish exactly what
you do want. Where do you want confidence in your life? Think
about the specific situations now and write them down. You beginning
to steer your brain towards confidence.
5) Understanding that what you expect is what you get. Your
brain is an organ that needs clear goals to work towards. When
a task has been set in your brain it will do everything it can
do to bring about the completion of that task. If you've tried
to recall someone's name but can't, hours later you'll often
find their name pops into your head.
The 'trying to recall' experience set the task or blueprint
for your brain's future subconscious behaviour which eventually
produced the name for you - when you weren't thinking about it
consciously. You can use this natural mechanism to start feeling
more confident. But, to ensure you set the right task for your
subconscious mind, the next point is vital.
6) Don't task your mind with negatives. Instead of: 'I
don't want to screw up' (which sets the task of 'screwing up'
for your brain), set the blueprint for what you do want! Your
brain doesn't work towards what to do by being told what not
to do. And nature has given you a wonderful natural tool to set
the right task blueprints with.
7) Use nature's goal-setter: Now you understand how vital
it is to set the right task for you brain, you need to know how
to do this reliably. Good hypnosis will strongly 'program' the
right blueprint in your mind through the use of your imagination.
If you powerfully imagine feeling confident and relaxed while
in a relaxed hypnotic state it will be hard for your unconscious
mind to do anything else. The blueprint for relaxation has been
set firmly into your subconscious mind.
3 simple strategies to get you feeling confident quickly:
1) Think specifically of the time/place/situation you
want to feel confident in. Remember 'confidence' doesn't mean
anything until you attach it to something specific.
2) Focus on words in your mind right now that describe
how you do want to be in that time and place. Maybe words such
as 'calm', 'relaxed' or 'focused'. Remember your brain works
on clear positive instructions.
3) Close your eyes for as long as you like and think
about how those words feel. Then, imagine the situation itself
and rehearse it in your mind feeling confident and relaxed. This
way you set the right blueprint or 'task' for your unconscious
mind.
You can repeat this often to make it more effective and use
it with as many areas of your life as you need to. If you listen
to a hypnotic cd or download that can make the benefits even
more powerful (see my profile below). So if you feel like you'd
be blessed with less confidence than some other people you can
start redressing the balance by using your mind in the right
way right now.
It took me years to learn how to be more confident - now you
can do it in a fraction of the time. Good luck!
Boost
your confidence now at HypnosisDownloads.com
Article by Mark Tyrrell of Hypnosis
Downloads.com. |
