The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer
long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer
Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.
The shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to
know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while
others less fortunate, like himself, are cold and starving.
shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper;
with cuts to a video of the ant in his comfortable warm home in
Hampstead with a table laden with food.
The British are stunned
that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed
to suffer so while others have plenty.
The Respect Party, the Transvestites With Starving Babies Party and
the Coalition Against Poverty demonstrate in front of the ant's house.
The BBC, interrupting a Rastafarian cultural festival special from
Grimsby with breaking news, broadcasts them singing "We Shall
Ken Livingstone laments in an interview with Panorama that the ant
has got rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate
tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share".
The Tories and the other pratts are quick to jump on the bandwagon,
accusing the government of discrimination against Grasshoppers. In
response, the Labour Government drafts the Economic Equity and Grasshopper
Anti-Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of the summer.
The ant's taxes are re-assessed, and he is also fined for failing
to hire grasshoppers as helpers.
Without enough money to pay his
fine and his newly imposed retroactive taxes, Camden Council confiscates
The ant moves to France, and starts a successful agribiz
company, funded by the EU.
The BBC later shows the now fat grasshopper finishing up the last
of the ant's food, though spring is still months away, while the Government-provided
house he's in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles
around him because he hasn't bothered to maintain it. Inadequate government
funding is blamed.
Diane Abbot is appointed to head a commission of enquiry, which will
cost around £10M to investigate the circumstances.
The grasshopper is soon dead of a drug overdose. The Guardian blames
this on the obvious failure of Government to address the root causes
of despair arising from pressing social inequity.
The abandoned house is then taken over by a gang of immigrant spiders,
praised by the Government for enriching Britain's multicultural diversity,
who promptly set-up marijuana growing operations and terrorise the